Transitioning from Deputy Fire Chief to full-time Senior Pastor has been both rewarding and challenging. After over 22 years in the fire service, I’ve gathered countless stories and lessons—many of which now guide me in my new role. I feel compelled to share these insights, in the hope that they’ll offer encouragement and guidance to others navigating their own journeys in leadership, ministry, or life.
How to Handle Conflict
How do you manage conflict? Most of us prefer to avoid it, but conflict is inevitable—especially in leadership. The key is to embrace it as an opportunity for growth rather than a setback.
Early in my firefighting career, I faced conflicts both professionally and personally. Some I created; others were thrust upon me. Unfortunately, my stubbornness and need to be right often made things worse. Looking back, I see the lessons—but at the time, I struggled.
Here are a few insights I’ve gained about handling conflict.
Conflict with Co-Workers
A year into my job, a new probationary firefighter joined my shift. I hoped their arrival would help me shed the “rookie” label. Instead, I clashed with co-workers, partly due to unresolved personal struggles.
At the time, I was going through a divorce, raising a one-year-old, and carrying a lot of anger. These challenges affected my attitude at work, making me difficult to be around. My inability to address conflict led to a transfer, which felt like rejection.
Over time, I realized the move gave me a chance to reflect and reset. I acknowledged my role in the tension, reached out to former co-workers, and worked to rebuild trust.
Conflict with Your Boss
The turning point came when my new officers—leaders I respected—confronted me about my behavior. Their honesty opened my eyes to the conflicts I had caused.
From that day forward, I committed to change. Rebuilding trust took time and effort. I sought feedback, demonstrated humility, and consistently showed up with a better attitude. Over time, I repaired relationships and regained respect.
Three Steps for Resolving Conflict
Listen: Hear the other person’s perspective without defensiveness.
Reflect: Honestly assess your actions and how they contributed to the issue.
Act: Have open conversations, offer solutions, and show consistency in your actions.
Attitude and Consistency Are Key
Conflict resolution starts with the right attitude and consistent effort. When you genuinely care and act with integrity, people notice. Over time, they’ll see the change in you, and trust will grow.
Remember: trust is hard to earn and easy to lose. Stay consistent, maintain a positive attitude, and lead with service above self. Conflict can be a stepping stone to stronger relationships and better leadership if you handle it well.
Wherever you are, answer the call!
Well said! ❤️